SOMEONE SOMEWHERE

“To the person taking a photo of me on the train: Fuck you. I mean, seriously, fuck you, you fucking drooling clod. “This is a weird train,” you said to your friend. “Everyone’s reading.” OH HOW WEIRD THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE READING ON A TRAIN. How INTERESTING, how BIZARRE. “This is a weird train,” you said, even though you had MULTIPLE VISIBLE CALF TATTOOS, which someone might think is weird, but certainly not weird enough to take a photo of and put on the internet. Why? Because taking a photo of a stranger without them knowing is as rude as HOT ACRID FUCK.”